To go back to the beginning, I tried eating the ‘daily dozen’ from ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ and it was hard work given the morning sickness that had me quite queasy. I still managed to put on 2kg in one week – for me that was just too much food! So I ate the kinds of things that were recommended but less quantity. Every week and every month I checked my weight, and was happy to see that I was on the upper side of normal, that is until the last trimester. Between 7 months and term I put on so much weight and so quickly.

I was terrified of losing weight because it would be bad for the baby, so I didn’t dare have days where I ate very little. It was during summer and I had bad oedema so I thought maybe that was it. My calves and ankles merged into ‘cankles’ and I had to buy big slip on sandals. By my due date I was over 90 kg. I felt huge!

Not to worry I thought, I’ve got a lot of fluid and it will go after the birth. Then I only lost 4 kg in the delivery. The baby weighed 3! My best friends had lost all their weight in the first couple of months, so they told me that with breastfeeding the weight would ‘just melt off’. I felt confident that it would. I made sure I ate well and kept up my strength to produce good milk for my baby. After 6 months I was still a size 20 and almost nothing had changed.

By my due date I was over 90 kg. I felt huge!

As the months went by I barely saw the weight come off but it did. I stopped breastfeeding after 19 months and at that stage I allowed myself to have days where I ate less. I lost quite a bit of weight. I only had 4 kg to go when I became pregnant for the second time 4 months later.

This time I ate well but didn’t overeat. I didn’t worry if I didn’t put on weight every week. I did gain gradually and put on a lot in the last 2 months as I had before. The net result was a little less, around 23kg of weight gain but I had started at a higher weight than last time. I lost about 4 kg in the delivery. I didn’t panic that I wouldn’t have enough breast milk and let my appetite dictate my eating habits, trying to eat every 2-3 hours to keep my blood sugar and energy levels constant.

Despite what they say, I don’t run around after my 3 year old very much. Washing, cooking and a baby routine mean that I haven’t done a lot of exercise and I’m just starting to gain energy now after 8 months. But this time I’m not panicking about what I eat and whether I exercise enough.

I’ve been eating whatever I like and whenever. Full fat cheese and yogurt, avocado and nuts are some of my favourite foods, and I’m also eating plenty of fruit, veg and whole grain bread and yes, there’s chocolate. I eat organic food and meat where I can and avoid pre-made sauces and foods with numbers. I’ve lost weight gradually while breast feeding and have lost 17 kg so far. I’ve got about 8 kg to lose to be my ideal weight. While I’m frustrated by the slowness of my weight loss, I know that it will happen.

I truly appreciate what my body does when having a baby and that there is a pattern which might not fit the averages, but which works. I realise that fear drove me to eat too much during pregnancy and breastfeeding with my first baby. I know now that eating well and when you want is the key. As it’s been almost 5 years since I first got pregnant, I’m looking forward to a whole new wardrobe. I’m thinking maybe another 6 months or so and then I’ll be shopping ‘til I drop!

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