Just re-reading my past entry. I saw N. and that did help, she's increased my breast milk again and bubs is not throwing up, so that's a relief. I've decided that PND is not for me. My friend had it, and I have had a lot of the signs, but I'm working through it bit by bit. When I'm able to remember that I am in control, that letting go of my anger allows me to choose  rather than react, it all goes more smoothly.

I'm trying cuddles when my 3yo has his tantrums, which is new. The advice I've had before is that you leave them to it, don't give attention. I'm finding that doesn't work. He needs to know that I want to understand him, that I care. He calms down and opens up when I give him that. I don't however give into his tantrum driven demands, or change my mind when 'no' results in a tantrum. I'm finding more joy in my boys these days. Funny how the simple things help.